Partners in pain.

Chronic illness is not unusual for those who walk between the Worlds.  Emotional turmoil is also common in the world of spirit workers.  Kit and I have had our share, between our own illnesses, our families’, and various traumas.  We are exceedingly lucky that we both still have jobs and health insurance, which helps.  But more valuable even than that is the support we’ve been able to find in each other.

It’s a conversation Kit and I were having a little while ago, during one of his worse days.  He has fibromyalgia and congestive heart failure, among other things, and a recent day’s worth of weather changes threw his whole nervous system into an uproar.  While he was apologizing for being a mess, and I was telling him he had nothing to apologize about, it occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, he and I were thrown together to help each other through the pain.

I would not be exaggerating if I said that meeting Kit saved my life.  Without him I probably would have walked into traffic by the age of 25.  I like to think that I help make his life a little easier in return.  I am better with the budget and occasionally the more patient parent, while he’s the better cook and tempers me when I get frustrated with the boys.  He introduced me to the people I call my friends today, and I kept the record that helped free his boys from their abusive mother and stepfather.  I’m his caregiver on bad days, and he keeps me young on his good days.  We’re partners, friends, lovers, and parents.

In some ways, we’re an unlikely pair – an active, well-traveled polyglot from the 60s and an insular, sedentary head case from the 80s.  We met a dozen years ago on a silly little Java game’s forum; we met in person three years later, and took only a month to fall in love when neither of us was looking.  We’ve been to hell and back since then, and I fully believe that without having each other, we would not have made it out.

And maybe that’s the point.  I can’t say that the worst is over.  We both have hard paths to walk, and certain things are not going to get better or easier.  Together, though… together we cope far better than we do apart.  Perhaps that’s what brought us together on that forum all those years ago.  Maybe that’s why, despite 19 years and several cultures’ separation, we simply work.  Because by hook or by crook, we make it through together, and we are going to need that down the road.

And damn if we aren’t going to laugh ourselves silly the whole way.

To you, my Kit, as I walk this path.  Thank you for being my Home.

About Fala

Fala Redwing is dedicated to Cernunnos as lover, submissive, and slave. A practicing Pagan since 2001 and a member of the BDSM community since 2006, Fala is an eclectic Witch and natural switch. Fala can be contacted at

One thought on “Partners in pain.

  1. […] and would not change my life in general. That said, I’ve mentioned a few of my Kit’s various challenges, which have only gotten more so over time. We both have day jobs, and then the household has to be […]

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