Not in the way Olivia Newton-John was singing about, but in what requirements I’m getting on the physical front. I’ve mentioned the switch being flipped, and my habits getting better. That seems to just be the start. He is interested not only in me becoming physically healthier, but also putting real thought into my appearance. I’m being prompted to get rid of the junky makeup that I rarely wear and the old clothes that don’t fit. I’m being pointed towards makeup and clothing items that are better – not necessarily expensive, and not huge collections, but with more thought to how they look and feel on me.
Basically, I’m being told to act like I care about me.
I probably shouldn’t be surprised about this, but I am. Makeup, nail polish, nice clothes… these have always been fripperies to me, luxuries that I’ve never cared much about. Occasionally I’ll have a girly moment and drool over a pair of shoes, but normally I’ll pass them by. It’s impractical to me. And it’s girly. If it were my choice, I’d live in yoga pants, t-shirts, and bare feet. And while I’m not being discouraged from those comfortable things, I am being pushed, sometimes not-so-gently, towards presenting myself in a better fashion.
Part of it is His vanity. He is very proud about His own appearance, and I need to look good on His arm, so to speak. But the bigger part of it, He says, is my own give-a-damn. Between my lack of health and my frumpy appearance, I don’t seem to care about how I appear to the world. To my budget-focused mind, putting personal funds into these things represents an investment in myself that I have put off for a long time. On top of that, He seems to need me to look more put-together, more professional, and to blend into the mundane world. I won’t even guess as to why. And while I don’t care about fashion, I do care that He is satisfied. Right now, He isn’t.
A friend of mine seems to have the best thoughts on this. When I was pouting to her about it, like a four-year-old boy told he had to spend time with a girl, she said the most insightful thing.
[Y]ou’re important to Him, and therefore deserving of caring for yourself. [S]ometimes you have to trust in Him, cuz He sees something Worthy.
Being the wise woman she is, she’s correct. He’s not putting me through all of this just for His amusement. He has reasons, even if I don’t know what they are yet. And it’s difficult to serve this particular deity without taking care of myself, best I can.
At least He’s not asking me to wear pink. 😛