There are a lot of resources for pagans, even for those traveling more obscure or less-often discussed paths. Blogs, fora, discussion groups, books, chat rooms… they’re out there. Lots of people, even more opinions, and numerous individual experiences.
So why open my gob at all?
One reason I started this was to finally be able to work through all of the feelings, thoughts, and ideas brewing and stewing in my head. I always communicate and process best through writing; I wasn’t able to write about my experiences for over a week, and still only once I started a dedicated space for it (this blog). I found the resources I mentioned up there by posting my fears, thanks to friends who read what I posted and reached out to help.
Even over just the past couple of weeks, though, my reasons have shifted a bit. Yes, I still process through writing. A part of me notices, in the articles and blogs I’ve been reading, references to very specific deities and traditions. It’s helpful to know I’m not alone in my relationship with a deity, and despite the differences in practice and tradition, reading these has been invaluable. Still, it occurs to me sometimes that a voice from another practice can’t hurt (so long as I keep my foot firmly on the ground, and not in my mouth). So I write.
More importantly, though, I’m finding myself using this journal as a place to explore my relationship with Him. It’s a place to honor Him, joke about Him, vent my frustrations, and overall show my determination to making the effort and putting in the work. A devotional, in essence – not unique or alone in what it is, but very much O/ours, I guess.