Balancing act.

Can I smack my head against a wall for a little while?  No?  Maybe hide away for a while?  No?  But it’s so much easier than balancing everything.

Family.  Path.  Friends.  Work.  Faith.  Business.  Self.  I have to balance all of this somehow, and I haven’t figured it out yet.  Of late, my extended family has noticed my absence, and has started calling me out on it.  Everything I say to explain is an excuse, despite the fact that I am telling the truth, and there is no way – no way – I can explain to them what’s happening.

I am, for lack of a better word, the black sheep of my family.  Yes, I’m married, have kids, go to work… but I also have visible tattoos, strange beliefs, and go off on weird vacations.  They don’t understand, no longer ask, and I don’t try to explain.  Yet it gets difficult when that means I can’t explain to them why I haven’t called, haven’t stopped by, forgot a birthday, and so forth.

It’s hard.  Lately I’ve felt so overwhelmed that I’ve thrown myself into making stock for the business and ignored much of everything else.  My husband is now calling me out on it, as is Himself.  This is not a solution.

The holidays have passed now, so a good bit of it is finally calming down.  I still have to find that balance, though.  So far, no luck, but I haven’t really thought it over yet either.  While I know that nothing is given me to do that I cannot handle, I still feel pretty overwhelmed.  Perhaps this is a case of my planning/list-making skills needing a workout.

Aaaaand there’s the vehement nodding in the back of my head.  For Someone who loves spontaneity, there are times when He seems to value planning as much as I enjoy making plans.

I have a lot of help, and plenty of resources.  I’ll make it through.  But WOOF.

About Fala

Fala Redwing is dedicated to Cernunnos as lover, submissive, and slave. A practicing Pagan since 2001 and a member of the BDSM community since 2006, Fala is an eclectic Witch and natural switch. Fala can be contacted at falaredwing@gmail.com.

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