I think one of my most persistent fears is reserved for after my Ordeal, when the Work begins in earnest.
I have a family. I have a partner and stepsons and parents and aunts and uncles and friends who are closer than much of my blood family. I also have an obsessive personality. The LAST thing I want to do is neglect them for the Work. It’s a balance I’ve not mastered. It’s already been commented upon by people to whom I can’t explain any of this. I worry that I’m already an absent-minded partner, an absent-minded parent, an absent-minded friend, and that this will make that so much worse. I fear doing more damage to my boys, who are already fighting so hard against the damage done to them by others. It’s not His assignments I fear – it’s my own obsessive response to them, because while I encourage moderation, I haven’t learned it very well myself.