That was brought up to me again. Rightly so, but I don’t want to hear “if.” I don’t want to entertain the idea that I might fail my Ordeal. At the same time, it is a very real possibility.
That, above all else, is what I fear, I think. Not because it means I’d have to Ordeal again. Not because I won’t wear His collar for another year. Because I would be without His voice for a year. And that… that hurts. That hurts a lot to even think about.
“Then do something about it,” He says. “Let Me in.”
I must try harder. I must do this. Failure is a possibility… but I can’t let it be an option.