Last night He got angry with me. I was moping and melancholy, closing off. He got fed up, and it brought something else home.
I do not want to disappoint Him.
He has said over and over that there is no *right* way to do this, only my best efforts in what He asks. But I have long been terrified of disappointment, my own and that of others in me. And there are a few beings in the universe I dearly don’t want to disappoint: Kit, my kids, and Him. But the more I worry about it, the less I focus and the worse I do.
Mindfulness. Focus. Stop worrying about everything and DO IT. That’s part of the lesson; I keep missing the mark by worrying so much about hitting it and not learning that part of the lesson. That, coupled with “if,” frightens me.