T-minus 17 days

Last night He got angry with me. I was moping and melancholy, closing off. He got fed up, and it brought something else home.

I do not want to disappoint Him.

He has said over and over that there is no *right* way to do this, only my best efforts in what He asks. But I have long been terrified of disappointment, my own and that of others in me. And there are a few beings in the universe I dearly don’t want to disappoint: Kit, my kids, and Him. But the more I worry about it, the less I focus and the worse I do.

Mindfulness. Focus. Stop worrying about everything and DO IT. That’s part of the lesson; I keep missing the mark by worrying so much about hitting it and not learning that part of the lesson. That, coupled with “if,” frightens me.

About Fala

Fala Redwing is dedicated to Cernunnos as lover, submissive, and slave. A practicing Pagan since 2001 and a member of the BDSM community since 2006, Fala is an eclectic Witch and natural switch. Fala can be contacted at falaredwing@gmail.com.

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