One thing I haven’t quite processed from this past weekend, but needs mentioning, is Saturday night’s drum circle. Not because I danced for Him; not because I sang for Him. (Those are subjects for another post.) But because of a conversation I had with a friend.
They sat with me at the fire circle and apologized to me for being distant the last time we were in a room together. The details of the conversation are too precious to share; suffice to say they read what happened, then read the blog, and it hit a trigger so big that they needed to detach themselves from me for a while.
I knew, in my head, that being on this path and having to be open about it would make things difficult. I’ve already felt the sting of criticism from strangers. I was in shock at how close I came to losing a friend, and it hit hard. Understanding the theory is very, very different from the experience.
I was very lucky this time. My friend and I are in a good place and able to move forward. Many of the other friends who know about my path have been supportive, even if they don’t understand it. But I’ve seen what can happen to a community when a path diverges, what happens with some people when someone travels a road not always understood. I will not always be so lucky.
Not everyone will understand, I know that. I don’t ask them to. My path winds so far out into left field that, for some, understanding just isn’t a reasonable expectation. But acceptance… that’s different. And I think that’s where we, as human beings, sometimes go wrong. It’s one of my biggest personal challenges. I want to understand! I want to know why! And sometimes there isn’t understanding. Sometimes it’s just not possible. Sometimes it’s just about accepting. That’s where I need to approach this, living this path so publicly. It’s not about getting people to understand. It’s about explaining it, providing the chance to accept… and then accepting it myself if they can’t.
So to all my wonderful friends… I love you. Thank you for accepting. ❤