Since Monday, I’ve been Hearing more clearly I have for weeks. He’s been poking at me a bit, and we’ve had some silly conversations back and forth.
Kit and Cernunnos and I all had a bit of serious conversation last night, while W/we sat on the hill watching fireworks. It boils down to the fact that I have a lot of work to do on my relationships. I’ve neglected both of T/them lately, and that’s not acceptable. Never was, never will be.
Yesterday was better, even before the conversation. We had breakfast, went shopping, picked up some new offerings (Himself wanted some Red Stag), and then did a few things around the house. I did play a game, but limited myself to two hours, while Kit was napping. I napped a bit myself later, and then Kit and I played a lovely game of Scrabble.
Ordinary, yes. But that’s what’s needed sometimes. Neither of T/them is looking for constant, elaborate dates or rose petals and candles every night. Just… time. Time when I’m not sucked into a game. Time when I’m not diving into a book. Time when I’m focusing on T/them, or being with T/them. Snuggling and watching a movie. Eating dinner. Talking. Exercising. Being rather than hiding. That’s not that much to ask.
Kit asked me again what I keep running from. Himself perked up to hear. I wish I had an answer for T/them. I wish I had an answer for me.
I’m working on it. That counts for something.