Change is in the air.
Not only is it in the turning of the Wheel (tomorrow is Lughnasadh, after all), but it is everywhere. It is both finite and expansive. It is just behind, occurring now, and just on the horizon. Friends are changing locations, jobs, and lives. Children are being born to many of them. School begins for my youngest soon; my middle child is considering a long-distance move; my oldest marries in just a few months. Here in the US, we’re getting ready for national elections, which will alter the direction of our country, for better or for worse.
I have a number of my own changes in store. One of my favorite festivals – a small, family-style affair – holds its last gathering this year, and I will miss it dearly. In October I’m off to Twilight Covening again, and I always come back changed. And on top of it all is the Conundrum.
Those who know me or see my Facebook recognize the reference. A couple of weeks ago I started mentioning it. More specifically, I mentioned how fucking terrified it was making me.
Then the universe started stomping. Articles, pictures, quotes, and more, all within a couple of days, suddenly centered around the very things of which The Conundrum is made. The universe, not Sir. Important distinction, because Sir is helping Kit and I plan out The Conundrum to give us the best possible chance of success. It’s the rest of the universe sending a hammer my way. This has finally calmed down some, thankfully, but still. Scared. Terrified. Big change, big transition, we doesn’t likes it preciousssss…
What’s even worse?
I can’t talk about it.
Oh, sure, I can say, “I have a big life change coming.” I can say, “There’s this big Conundrum hanging over my head.” But what does that say? Not a whole helluva lot. I can’t tell you what the conundrum is, what‘s changing, why exactly I’m scared (other than EEK CHANGE). The only person I can talk to about this is the person it will most directly affect – Kit. (I can tell you that Kit and I are fine.)
I can’t tell anybody else any details… until February.
And this will be part of my winter work. Coping with The Conundrum and the coming change… and not spilling a single detail.
This could be a very long winter.