In less than 7 days, my Master and Lover dies.
The aspect of Cernunnos who claims me as His lover and slave follows a cycle of death and rebirth. Last year He resisted it to help me through my training. This time He cannot, nor will He try. His time to die is approaching fast. It’s not something I’ve wanted to think about, but as the time grows closer, it presses on my mind more and more.
On October 31st, I remove His offering cup from my altar. The candles change from white to black. I cover His image with a black cloth, and I wear a black scarf in my hair. As the veil lifts between the dead and the living, another drops to separate U/us.
His voice has been growing weaker, His presence tired. It is an effort for both of U/us now to reach each other. My heart hurts to think about it. While He is born again on Yule, my virile Lover will not be back to me until Imbolc. Three months apart, while He dies, sleeps, is reborn, and grows to Youth.
I am fortunate, and not. I have my Kitten all through the year, the light and the dark times. I can’t say how grateful I am for him, and how much I love himm. But I love my Sir equally, and this will occur every year. I must be patient. I must have faith. But I have no doubt it will be hard, and I have no illusions that it will get any easier.
So begins the dark time of the year.