More than seven weeks passed. Reaching out was distressing and heartache-inducing. I continued to go on O/our date nights; I still occasionally reached out. But if I received an answer it all, it came from Mother Danu – Mother, swollen with Child, weary, mourning, but there for me in my own sorrow. I was not allowed to ask Kit for communication, was unable to reach Him myself across the Hedge. And so I waited. I withdrew – too much. I slipped in my habits. But I waited.
Daybreak on the 22nd broke the silence. There was a smile there – not His as I had seen it before, but like my nephew when I first saw him smile. He was born; Mother was resting; I went back to bed, somewhat comforted.
This morning, after a few more days of patience, I reached out again. Again She answered, but I can feel Him there. His space in my head and heart is no longer empty. I still have time to wait – another six weeks from birth to young man, when He is once again strong and virile – but I’m working hard to stop my withdrawal, to re-establish the link while He grows stronger. I’m getting small dizzy spells again, which means I’m not the only one doing so.
It will be an odd experience, these next several weeks. But there’s a part of me that can’t wait to see Him grow stronger, to watch and feel Him return to me. It will be hard to be patient, but I must.
And so I wait, and I reach out, and I feel.